⌚️ My Apple Watch Was Gaslighting Me

Let's talk about smartwatches. Despite what the cheerful Apple Store employee told you, they're not actually smart.

About 62 minutes into what I dramatically refer to as The Great Training Zone Debacle of 2024. (Yes, I'm the only one who calls it that. No, I won't stop.)

The test results arrived. Do you remember those "easy" Zone 1 and 2 runs? 

Narrator: They were not easy runs.

Turns out I'd been running around like a caffeinated squirrel while my watch patted me on the back, saying, "Nice recovery jog, champ!"

Zone 5, that mythical realm of supreme effort that seemed impossible to reach? Well, it actually was impossible to reach. 

You always want the customer to feel good about using your product and about their purchase… very clever, Apple.

The real kicker was that all those "Zone 2, just kissing the bottom of Zone 3" runs were…Surprise! In Zone 4–like renting an apartment there–possibly setting up a small business. My watch, with its optimistic little processor, had been grading my efforts on a generous curve.

Think of it like accidentally speaking French with an Italian accent your whole life, only to discover you've actually been speaking Spanish backward. Impressive? Maybe. What we intended? Not exactly.

Getting your Zones Right

My threshold heart rate was measured at a run pace of 8:20 per mile. A good rule of thumb was to add 30-40 seconds to get your fastest marathon pace.

This meant I might actually hit my sub-4-hour marathon goal.

The target pace of 9:09 per mile transformed from "maybe in an alternate universe" to "Hey, I might do this without ending up in the hospital."

The road ahead—20 weeks of LA Marathon prep—suddenly had more direction than a type-A personality planning their own birthday party. 

Instead of training like a caffeinated squirrel chasing an espresso-soaked acorn, I could focus on what actually mattered:

• Strength training (because marathons, like your brutally honest aunt, don't sugar-coat anything)

• "Sweet-spot" runs (the Goldilocks zone: not fast enough to see your life flash before your eyes, not slow enough to start online shopping mid-run)

• Speed work (occasionally reminding your legs they're not actually filled with cement, despite their convincing arguments)

Sure, the marathon finish line is still months away, but thanks to this little adventure in exercise science, I'm no longer running like a drunk penguin in a maze. And I've manually overwritten the feel-good zones of the Apple Watch.

⛑️ Aid Station

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