🏆 The King reclaims his Hawaiian crown

🌤️ The Warm-Up

• 📼 At the 1982 Ironman Hawaii, Julie Moss famously crawled across the finish line after collapsing, creating one of sport's most iconic moments. That moment, broadcast on ABC's Wide World of Sports, is credited with sparking the explosive growth of triathlon worldwide.

• 🎧 Podcast: Racing in the Ironman 70.3 World Championships this December? Learn critical bike maintenance and preparation strategies you need to know before race day.

🏃‍♂️The Sprint

🏆 The King reclaims his Hawaiian crown: Patrick Lange silenced doubters and honored his late mother's wish with an epic third Ironman World Championship title in Kona, demolishing the course record with a 7:35:53 finish at age 38. The German veteran, who overcame pre-race panic attacks and widespread jellyfish stings, mounted a stunning comeback from 13th place on the run to claim his first victory in six years. His emotional win caps the longest gap between Kona titles in history and puts him in line for a $200k Pro Series bonus.

🚲 Engineering marvels, melting marathoners: Canyon's Speedmax CFR smashed the 4-hour barrier at Kona as Sam Laidlow blazed a historic 3:57:22 split with his HED Vanquish/Jet wheel combo, leading a parade of ultra-aero tech. The top-10 fastest steeds showcased a who's who of triathlon royalty (Canyon, Cervelo, Scott, BMC) with their 1x drivetrains and deep-section wheels from HED and Princeton Carbon Works all clocking sub-4:05 times – though as it turns out, no amount of carbon fiber could prevent their riders from turning into human puddles on the run.

🏊‍♂️ From speedsters to legends: Kona's ageless wonders: The 2024 Ironman age-group battle saw everything from Danmark's Frederik Wester blazing an 8:34 finish (presumably while texting his college professors for deadline extensions) to Japan's Hiroshi Nakata crushing a 15:59 at age 80+ (making everyone's "I'm too old" excuse look pretty weak). A peek at the age-group winning times tells the tale:

With 2,400 athletes from 85 countries proving that whether you're chasing a sub-9 hour finish or taking the scenic 16-hour tour, the Hawaiian lava fields don't care about your birth certificate – they're happy to bake everyone equally.

The Super Sprint

• Billy Monger's iron will: Former racing driver turned double amputee triathlete smashes Ironman record by over two hours in Hawaii, battling jellyfish stings and brutal crosswinds to clock 14:23:56 at the World Championship.

• Tasmania's swimming sensation: 21-year-old amateur Sam Askey-Doran shatters Kona's swim record at Ironman World Championship with a blistering 45:43 split, powered by pro mentor Cameron Wurf and seven jellyfish stings.

• Bollywood's triathlon twist: Veteran actor Anupam Kher tackles age stereotypes in Netflix's Vijay 69, playing a 69-year-old former swim coach determined to complete a triathlon, in what he calls "one of the seven best films" of his career.

🗺️ Long Course

⌚️ My Apple Watch Was Gaslighting Me

Let's talk about smartwatches. Despite what the cheerful Apple Store employee told you, they're not actually smart.

About 62 minutes into what I dramatically refer to as The Great Training Zone Debacle of 2024. (Yes, I'm the only one who calls it that. No, I won't stop.)

The test results arrived. Do you remember those "easy" Zone 1 and 2 runs? 

Narrator: They were not easy runs.

Turns out I'd been running around like a caffeinated squirrel while my watch patted me on the back, saying, "Nice recovery jog, champ!"

Zone 5, that mythical realm of supreme effort that seemed impossible to reach? Well, it actually was impossible to reach. 

You always want the customer to feel good about using your product and about their purchase… very clever, Apple.

The real kicker was that all those "Zone 2, just kissing the bottom of Zone 3" runs were…Surprise! In Zone 4–like renting an apartment there–possibly setting up a small business. My watch, with its optimistic little processor, had been grading my efforts on a generous curve.

Think of it like accidentally speaking French with an Italian accent your whole life, only to discover you've actually been speaking Spanish backward. Impressive? Maybe. What we intended? Not exactly.

Getting your Zones Right

My threshold heart rate was measured at a run pace of 8:20 per mile. A good rule of thumb was to add 30-40 seconds to get your fastest marathon pace.

This meant I might actually hit my sub-4-hour marathon goal.

The target pace of 9:09 per mile transformed from "maybe in an alternate universe" to "Hey, I might do this without ending up in the hospital."

The road ahead—20 weeks of LA Marathon prep—suddenly had more direction than a type-A personality planning their own birthday party. 

Instead of training like a caffeinated squirrel chasing an espresso-soaked acorn, I could focus on what actually mattered:

• Strength training (because marathons, like your brutally honest aunt, don't sugar-coat anything)

• "Sweet-spot" runs (the Goldilocks zone: not fast enough to see your life flash before your eyes, not slow enough to start online shopping mid-run)

• Speed work (occasionally reminding your legs they're not actually filled with cement, despite their convincing arguments)

Sure, the marathon finish line is still months away, but thanks to this little adventure in exercise science, I'm no longer running like a drunk penguin in a maze. And I've manually overwritten the feel-good zones of the Apple Watch.

⛑️ Aid Station

The BONK’s Top Triathlons In California 2025

📊 Race Data

Four Decades of Speed: Kona’s Evolution (1981-2024)

The story of speed at the Ironman World Championships is written in three distinct chapters.

The 1980s saw the steepest improvements as pioneers like Dave Scott and Paula Newby-Fraser rewrote the playbook for what was possible on the Big Island.

Both men's and women's divisions experienced dramatic drops in finish times during this foundational decade, with gold medal times plummeting by nearly two hours.

The 1990s and 2000s showed more gradual progress, marked by consistent excellence from legends like Mark Allen and Natascha Badmann.

During this era, the gap between podium finishers (gold, silver, and bronze) began to narrow, suggesting the sport was maturing and competition was intensifying.

The most recent chapter, from 2010 onwards, reveals the relentless march toward faster times continues - though now measured in minutes rather than hours.

While the men's times have steadily crept down to the current record of 7:35:53, the women's division has seen remarkable acceleration under champions like Daniela Ryf and Lucy Charles-Barclay, with times dropping below 8:30.

Looking at these trend lines, one thing becomes clear: on the lava fields of Kona, the pursuit of speed never stops.

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😰 Challenge of the week

5 DAYS. 3 MINS. ABS. LET'S GO! 💪

Next week, we’ll check in to see how everyone performed!

🤌 Thought of the week

Check your tires the night before – because nothing screams "I hate myself" quite like changing a flat at 6 AM in your driveway while your friends send increasingly sarcastic "we're waiting..." GIFs.

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Time to bounce — but we'll be back! 🦘