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πββοΈ Wetsuit Wars: Your complete guide to faster swimming
Where cranks shrink for speed gains, Bottas trades tracks for pain, and Pidcock shreds mountain terrain while wetsuits drive triathletes insane.
π€οΈ The Warm-Up
πββοΈπ΄ββοΈπββοΈ In 1978, the first Ironman was so budget-friendly that organizers actually refunded $2 of the $5 entry fee! Today's $800+ registration would make those original 15 pioneers fall off their department store bikes. From penny-pinching beginnings to a ~$900 million empire - talk about a serious endurance upgrade!
πΉ DO HARD THINGS - Casey Neistat
πββοΈThe Sprint
π² Size doesn't matter (except it actually does): Turns out the age-old debate has finally hit cycling, with science suggesting that shorter cranks (20% of your inseam, or 162mm for the average 32-inch leg) might be the sweet spot - making thousands of cyclists nervously eye their oversized 175mm compensators. While Tadej PogaΔar's switch to 165mm cranks had the cycling world buzzing, your knees have been trying to tell you this whole time - sometimes less really is more.
πββοΈ F1 star finds slower way to burn rubber: Valtteri Bottas swapped his 200mph Sauber for a backyard Ironman, proving you can still torment yourself without an F1 contract - crushing 7,000 calories via endless pool laps, a Peloton, and a treadmill marathon at his villa. When reached for comment about his 11-hour indoor sufferfest. Triathlon star Taylor Spivey summed it up perfectly: "This is very impressive/psychotic."
π² Pirelli goes plus-size premium: Their legendary P Zero road tire supersizes to 40mm while keeping its race-ready speed and supple road feel - making rough roads smoother and fast rides faster than traditional narrow tires. At $95, turns out the perfect tire is like the perfect pizza - better when it's wide, Italian, and way too expensive.
Today's Bonk is Supported By Dragonfly Rack
Tired of bike racks that feel like you're moving furniture? ποΈ
The Dragonfly Rack is there when you need it and gone when you don't.
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πΊοΈ Long Course / π Race Data
Wetsuit Impact on 70.3 Ironman Swim Times
Let's talk wetsuits - that expensive piece of neoprene standing between you and hypothermia.
While the difference between wetsuit types might seem trivial online, those minutes really add up when you're chasing down PRs.
Here's what you need to know about choosing your buoyant armor:
Full Swimming Wetsuit
Your Expensive Second Skinβthink of it as spandex on steroids.
Yes, it costs more than your first car, and yes, you'll perform an interpretive dance called while putting it on. But hey, it puts buoyancy where you need it and makes mediocre swimming almost look graceful.
Just remember to check shoulder mobility before buying - unless T-rex arms are your aesthetic.
Sleeveless Wetsuit
Perfect for those jacked triathletes who can't bear hiding their deltoids (or anyone who hates feeling like a compression-wrapped mummy).
Sure, you'll have the shoulder mobility of an Olympic gymnast, but hit that cold water and suddenly you're a very fit, very regretful popsicle. The perfect choice for anyone who values freedom of movement over warmth, and really loves explaining their weird tan lines at parties.
Surf Wetsuit
Could you use a surfing wetsuit? Sure. Could you also swim wearing a winter coat? Technically, yes. Should you do either? Only if you enjoy swimming through pudding.
Surf wetsuits are like wearing a parachute in a drag race. Sure they're great for surfing, but in a race you'll have the speed of a drunk sea turtle. And trying to escape one in transition? Let's just say you'll give the crowd a show that'll make Magic Mike look efficient.
Swimskin
When it's too hot for a wetsuit but you still want that second-skin swagger.
Think compression wear with delusions of grandeur β minimal protection, minimal drag, maximal damage to your wallet. Great for waters warm enough to brew tea, and for anyone who enjoys spending big money on fancy spandex.
The Holy Trinity of Wetsuit Comfort:
Proper fit (think athletic penguin, not stuffed sausage)
Body glide everywhere (seriously, EVERYWHERE)
Even more body glide (because chafing is your arch-nemesis)
Bottom Line: Get a proper tri wetsuit. Cutting corners on your wetsuit is like wearing flip-flops in a marathon: technically possible, deeply unwise.
Wetsuit Escape Artist 101 πββοΈ β π΄ββοΈ
Pre-Race Prep:
TriSlide up ankles, wrists, neck like your life depends on it
Think less "gentle moisturizing" more "preparing for a seal slide"
First Transition:
Start unzipping while running (yes, you can multitask!)
Strip to the waist before reaching your bike
Sit down to get the wetsuit over your feet (unless face-planting is your style)
Two-finger heel hook technique: grab, push, freedom
Pro Tips
Practice in advance (duh)
Don't stand on the suit (it's expensive!)
More TriSlide than you think you need
Then add more TriSlide
A smooth transition looks effortless because someone practiced it 50 times in their living room.
Happy swimming!
βοΈ Aid Station
πΊοΈ The BONKβs Top Triathlons In California 2025π
π€ Thought of the week
"Rest day" means only doing one sport instead of three
Got a laugh from The Bonk? Spread the joy β share us with a friend! π
Time to bounce β but we'll be back! π¦