🛩️ When Top Gun Meets Triathlon

🌤️ The Warm-Up

• 🫖 From defending Britain in WW2 to defending his title as the world's oldest triathlete at 90, Arthur Gilbert proved that age is just a (very large) number. While most nonagenarians were perfecting their crossword puzzles, this unstoppable Somerset superman was swimming 500 meters, cycling 20km, and running 5km - all before teatime.

• 📹 How does the NYC Marathon make money?

🏃‍♂️The Sprint

👟 Marathon record falls to crocs 🐊: While elite runners dropped thousands on space-age super shoes, Denver engineer Kevin Leimkuhler just revolutionized marathon fashion by crushing NYC in what's basically rubber cheese with holes. The 31-year-old madman floated through five boroughs in bright orange Crocs - completing the 26.2 mile world record in 2:51:27 without losing toes, dignity, or his garden shoes. His only pit stop? A quick sister-hug to confirm he wasn't hallucinating. Post-race, he called Crocs "viable running shoes," causing Nike's stock to plummet and podiatrists worldwide to question their career choices.

🏊‍♂️ New CEO gets lost in triathlon: Fresh Ironman boss Scott DeRue swapped his suit for wetsuit chafing, zigzagging through his first 70.3 like a drunk Marco Polo while juggling two World Championships. The former mountaineer, more comfortable climbing up than swimming straight, is now sweet-talking Kona residents about why 2,000 triathletes in spandex deserve their roads - before they vote to launch everyone into the volcano instead.

🚲 How Rapha made suffering sexy: Once the domain of Euro-dads in screaming neon spandex, road cycling found its hipster salvation through Rapha - a brand that convinced us paying premium prices to be artistically miserable in the rain was actually cool. After seven years of financial losses–it turns out making misery marketable only works until your customers realize they could be depressed for free.

🗺️ Long Course

🏊‍♂️ From Dead Last to Course Record: The Truth About Swimming in Ironman

You don’t win an Ironman in the swim—but you swim well enough to get to the bike. 

It’s a hard-earned truth in triathlon, proven time and again by pros like Lionel Sanders. At the 2016 Ironman Arizona, Sanders emerged 52nd from Tempe Town Lake, turning a rough start into a blistering win and course record of 7:44:29.

The takeaway? Swimming sets the stage, but the real drama unfolds on land.

Swimming might be the first leg, but it’s the shortest—just 12% of a full Ironman. The other 88%? That’s where the race is won or lost. While the numbers sound simple, the biomechanics are anything but.

Here’s why: powerful cyclists and runners come equipped with traits that work against them in water. Hill-crushing, muscular legs? They sink. Drag in water is up to 800 times stronger than in air at 20 mph, making streamlined form essential. Low body fat, great for power-to-weight ratio on land, turns into a buoyancy struggle. Upper bodies built for bike aero positions lack the muscle patterns that make swimmers glide.

And Sanders? Known for his less-than-stellar swim splits but feared for his bike-run prowess, he’s living proof of a fundamental truth: swimming success has diminishing returns in long-course racing.

So, what’s the lesson? Strategic triathletes don’t skip swim practice; they master it just enough to stay in the race. The real investment is in the bike and run, where the biggest gains are made.

Next time you see a pro lagging behind after the swim, take note. They’re not beaten; they’re just getting started. Because in triathlon, it’s not who leads the swim—it’s who masters the long game.

🧰 Course Support

💧 3 Hydration Strategies for Your First 70.3 Ironman Bike Course

It's daunting to approach your first Ironman 70.3. 

While you're likely focused on the last few training sessions and the gear you'll need, one important aspect is often overlooked–your hydration strategy. When you leave this to race day without a plan, you're doing a disservice to the months of training it took to get here. 

The bike portion of any Ironman event is statistically the longest, and nutrition and hydration becomes critical for surviving the impending half-marathon waiting for you at the end. You can race without being conscious of your hydration until suddenly a loss of 2% body weight due to dehydration can start to reduce your performance by 10-20% (think of the cramping–ouch). 

That could be the difference between a 6-hour Half-Ironman and a 7-hour Half-Ironman.

Three hydration strategies for the bike

The Free Spirit 🌀

Your body is smarter than you think. While it might seem casual, it's backed by science – your body's thirst mechanism is surprisingly accurate at maintaining proper hydration levels (just don't ignore it). Rather than following strict timing, you drink when thirsty and adjust based on how you feel. 

The Setup:

• Two bottles of water on the bike. 

• Stopping at aid stations as needed.

Best for: The triathlete who doesn't overthink and is confident listening to their body.

The Just-in-Time 🛩️

Like fighter jets dumping their auxiliary fuel tanks before a dogfight, this strategy is about keeping your weight low and maximizing speed. Plan on stopping at every aid station for a rolling NASCAR pit stop and tossing any unnecessary weight. 

The Setup:

• One quick-refillable Torpedo or reservoir that's topped up at each aid station throughout the race.

• Sipping to thirst.

• Plan to stretch each refill 15 miles and refill at each of the 3 aid stations.

• Flexibility to take on extra water at aid stations during hot days.

• At a 20mph average speed, expect a new bottle every 45 minutes.

Best for: The triathlete who prefers structure, eliminating guesswork, and minimizing weight during climbs.

The Camel 🐫 

"Two is one, and one is none" is the motto of these pack-mules. One water bottle? Nah. Two water bottles? Nah. Four water bottles? Now we're talking. These prepper athletes are ready to finish the race even if a zombie apocalypse happens while they're out on the bike course. This approach also works if you have a sensitive stomach and want complete control over your nutrition.

The Setup:

• 4 XL bottles, including a reservoir for refilling.

• Sipping to thirst.

• No planned stops except for emergencies or equipment issues.

• Complete nutrition independence (hell yeah 🇺🇸)

Best for: The triathlete with a sensitive stomach, racing in a hot and humid venue, or the anxious type.

The Bottle Line

The goal isn't to match fluid loss ounce for ounce during the race—that's impossible and unnecessary.

Some dehydration is normal and expected during a 70.3. Your Mission is to minimize its negative effects for as long as possible, keeping yourself in that sweet spot where you're still performing at your best.

Test these strategies during your long training rides. The one that feels most natural is likely your best bet. Remember that the 6-hour finish time you're dreaming about depends as much on your hydration strategy as it does on your training.

Now, you'll get there with a hydration strategy that works for you. Good luck out there–try not to break a leg.

⛑️ Aid Station

🗺️ The BONK’s Top Triathlons In California 2025📍

🤌 Thought of the week

Suffering is easier with company.

We push harder when sharing the experience with others. The pain subsides when you see a friend or make a new one on the race course, and our shared struggle creates unique bonds with strangers we may never see again.

Got a laugh from The Bonk? Spread the joy — share us with a friend! 😃

Time to bounce — but we'll be back! 🦘